Tracey's Advice, Special Occasion By Design
Mediation Between Extended Families
The days leading up to your wedding should be and often are a combination of exciting moments of anticipation and imagination as you put together the pieces that will create a memorable day when your dreams become reality. Many people become an integral part of your planning process; your family, your friends, your vendors. And probably more times than you can count, complete strangers will offer you advice or words of wisdom, even when you don’t ask for it… All will weave itself together to become the story of your special day.
However, there are times when some aspects of the planning, and sometimes important players in the game, might cause a little more stress than desired. When extended family members don’t get along, but are all pitching in to help with or are a part of the wedding, it often times creates more angst than existed beforehand. Can’t they all see that this is your special day? Can’t they just put their hurt feelings and/or pride to the side for this short period of time to allow for pleasant memories at your wedding? These are obvious questions with obvious answers, but the reality of life doesn’t always play out according to your plans. So how do you handle mediation between extended families?
The most important rule to remember when trying to solve situations between families is to establish open lines of communication between everyone. It might be challenging, do not doubt that. But striving for an end result where everyone is happy is a reasonable goal to reach.
Be a good listener. Listen openly to their thoughts, concerns and reasoning and try to logically process what they are saying. Have an open mind and try to fully understand where they are coming from. Everyone has experiences and feelings that justify why they behave in certain ways. It is easy for our emotions to get in the way of logical thinking and actions, so try to avoid letting your own emotions take charge of your actions.
Once you have calmly processed input from these players, compare this information to your own thoughts, plans, and desires. Try to sincerely plan out the best compromise for all of the players so that a genuine win-win situation can be reached.
Remember to be honest along the way with everyone. Try not to say things to the players involved that might hurt feelings and avoid creating situations that will be awkward for them.
Relationships take a lot of work. Handling all of the players involved with care and treating them like you want to be treated while planning your wedding will take extra effort. However, it will be worth the extra effort in the end. Everyone involved should appreciate your endeavors and consideration of their vantage points and opinions.
Managing relationships is similar to taking care of a plant. The more you nurture, water and feed it, the healthier your plant will be and the more likely it will be to thrive and grow for a long, long time. Like happily ever after…
Tracey Fricke
Special Occasion By Design
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